Ramen, Wuxia, Presidents, and Pretty-Girl Covers
My Kindle sampling continues to focus on indie authors. I've decided they deserve some love and I will actually click on any cover that looks interesting when it appears in my Facebook or Twitter feed. Obviously this means more get shoved at me, and it's mostly looking for gems in a garbage pile, but cheers to all those authors putting their work out there in a sea of mid and AI-generated content.
I keep trying litrpgs, but now I am exploring Progression Fantasies/Wuxias. Let me say, the landscape is dire and I continue to not understand the highly recommended works that everyone seems to recommend.
Reverend Insanity, by Gu Zhen Ren

If you were reborn five hundred years in the past, knowing everyone’s fate and destiny, how would you use that knowledge?
Fang Yuan, armed with five centuries of memories, returns to his youth in a world ruled by Gu worms, where the strong dominate and the weak perish. No longer an ordinary man, he understands the ruthless law of survival and is determined to rise on the path of Gu Immortality—no matter the cost.
From the moment he refines his first Gu worm, Fang Yuan embarks on a journey filled with betrayal, schemes, and bloodshed. Manipulating every opportunity, he deceives his family, slaughters his sect, and coldly eliminates anyone who stands in his way, all to grow stronger. But as he climbs toward the peak of power, Fang Yuan discovers his true enemy is not merely other cultivators, but the omnipotent force of Heaven itself. With each step he takes, the battle between him and Heaven intensifies, and hidden secrets about the False Immortal Body and the Reincarnation Prison begin to unravel.
In this world where strength is everything, Fang Yuan's path is soaked in blood and intrigue. His enemies are not just powerful individuals, but the invisible will of Heaven. As his power grows, the chains of destiny tighten, the forbidden forces of the Reincarnation Prison awaken, and the mysteries of the False Immortal Body come to light. Can Fang Yuan shatter every shackle and seize control of his fate?
DNFed at 8%This seems to be one of the most popular Wuxias. I read thread after thread of people raving about how awesome it was that they binged the whole series.
First of all, it's translated from Chinese, and the translation is... rough. Inconsistent tenses, head-hopping, stilted dialog, just a rough read.
The premise seems to be that the protagonist, Fang Yuan, has reached the end of his progression journey but he's about to be killed by his enemies. So he sends himself back in time to when he was a kid, to relive his life, but with 500 years of memories.
This should make him some kind of brilliant schemer, but mostly he just snickers to himself about how foolish and naive everyone around him is because he already knows what their plans are. Which brings up the second point: protagonist is an amoral asshole focused on leveling up and with no real character arc or heroic journey. I don't see why I'm supposed to care about his progression or defeating his enemies.
There's lot of tedious exposition about "Gu levels" and how the Taoist progression system works, and, like, it's not interesting, man.
The Law of the Jungle, by Vasily Mahanenko

Might is right. This is the primal law of the jungle, and this creed not only rules the animal kingdom, but also shapes the lives of men.
Having harnessed the elusive Qi energy, humanity has divided the world into zones and mastered the creation of extraordinary artifacts, edging closer to immortality. Yet, this evolution has only entrenched the fundamental law: power grants privilege. The strongest claim the finest resources as well as the right to rise above others.
DNFed at 27%Vasily Mahanenko is apparently one of the OG progression fantasy authors, and
Law of the Jungle is up to like 14 books? I actually kind of enjoyed this one for a while; the writing was okay and the protagonist is your typical underdog nobody peasant who through grit and determination is much better than he has a right to be. So when some "Higher Tier" Taoists from a higher tier world arrive and he gets drafted into coming along on a wilderness journey, he slowly earns respect and the chance to level up.
There was an interesting variety of characters, and the journey held my attention for a quarter of the book, but the problem is in the title:
everyone is an asshole. I think this is apparently a trope of Wuxia fantasy; everything is a competition, it's all about dominating, and the value system seems utterly devoid of anything like friendship, loyalty, kindness, or mercy. Seniors bully their juniors, the mighty expect groveling and submission from their lessers, and it's just depressing to read about a bunch of privileged entitled assholes either kissing ass or kicking underdogs. The protagonist trying to crawl up to higher tiers didn't interest me enough because I saw no evidence he'll be any different once he's on top.
Half-Elven Thief, by Jonathan Moeller

There is honor among thieves…but only to a point.
Rivah Half-Elven is a master thief of the Court of the Masked King, the ruling thieves guild of the imperial city of Tar-Carmatheion. Yet her debts hang over her head like a sword that might fall at any moment.
So when a guildmaster of the Court orders her to take a job from a mysterious client, Rivah has no choice but to accept.
But the client wants her to steal the spell book of a fearsome and powerful wizard.
And when you steal from a wizard, death might be the happiest outcome…and it will take all of Rivah’s wits, skills, and courage to survive.
DNFed at 10%This is the most D&Dish novel that ever D&Ded without using an actual ™.
The protagonist is a half-elven thief. A master thief even! She owes debts to the thieves guild (it's not called that, it's the Shadow Court something-or-other), lives cheaply in a tavern run by a former thief, has a trapped chest in her room, slips on leather armor when she hears trouble, has night vision and knows exactly three spells because her mother was an elf... yes, this book lives and breathes D&D tropes and is written for people who just love written D&D adventures. It's not a litrpg, but you can still practically see the character sheet on every page.
In chapter one, kobolds sneak up from the tunnels under the city. They come through a trapdoor in the inn's basement that the innkeeper "never got around to doing something about."
Okay, so... there's this undercity (which is not a secret!) full of monsters who are
known to come up through the tunnels to attack and abduct people, and you've got a trapdoor in your inn's basement leading to this undercity, and you treat it like a leaky roof you'll get around to someday? This seems like
Contrived Stupidity to me.
The kobolds tie up everyone else, so the protagonist has to take out eight kobolds by herself. That's a reasonable challenge for 2nd or 3rd level thief/magic-user, I guess.
The writing was very flat and barely even YA level. This is part of a series (future volumes have such exciting names as "Wizard Thief" and "Half-Orc Paladin"), and it reads like someone churning out novelizations of their D&D sessions. There was not a single original idea (it looks like the main plot will be a heist - stealing a wizard's spellbook is the sort of plot that gets generated by a random roll on the "I don't have an adventure prepped for game night" table), so it was nothing I was interested in continuing.
Galactic Terror: A Space Opera, by Michael Robertson

They say you can’t run from your past, and now she’s reached the other side of the galaxy, Sparks wonders if they’re right …
Living on a distant planet with a transient population for the past year, ducking in and out of spaceport dive bars, mixing with pirates, bounty hunters, and criminals, she’s become just another being in the crowd.
But she wasn’t born to eke out a living at the very fringes of society. Not with her powers.
So when a stranger makes her a tempting offer …
An adventure she’s been desperate to have …
She wonders if now’s the right time for her to step from the shadows?
To return to the planet-hopping, high-risk thrill-ride that used to be her life.
To take back control.
And if the next few months end up looking like the past twelve, then it’s not like she has anything to lose.
Galactic Terror is the first book in a series of space opera thrillers, where every page crackles with high-stakes action and interstellar intrigue.
DNFed at 10%I guess self-published books have to advertise loud and clear what they are on the cover, but do you really have to tell me that a novel called "Galactic Terror" is a space opera?
This story features a tiny waif-like protagonist names Reyes (really?) who is a Thrystian, a species commonly mistaken for human. She's laying low on a backwater world, concealing her galactic-level prowess at "droneball," some sort of VR dueling sport. She's hustling for small change after some job out in the big bad galaxy went south. She's providing for a girlfriend who's apparently succumbed to depression and addiction. There's a confrontation with an alien who tries to cheat her, she chases him down and proves she's a badass who's reluctant to kill. She has a dark past as some sort of mercenary or something.
The setting is very reminiscent of Star Wars, and it kind of read like Star Wars fanfiction. The writing was not bad, but it all seemed like very bland, generic space opera. Every page did not "crackle with high-stakes action and interstellar intrigue."
Chloe's Kingdom: The Koin Vault Heist, by Gregory Michael

Six Motivated Thieves. One Deadly Heist.
Chloe Espinoza is a wild-haired petty thief aboard the Kingdom, a drifting city spaceship. Once rich but now poor, Chloe is determined to break free from the Honeycombs and return to her life in the Gardens. Only one problem: she hardly has enough koin for a burrito, making a lavish apartment seem as distant as the stars. All that might change, however, when Chloe is offered a heist that could make her unimaginably rich. But she can’t break into the impenetrable Koin Vault alone…
A young mastermind who can’t let go of her past.
A mathematical genius in desperate need of koin.
A privileged kid from the Gardens with a debt to pay.
A bartender who’s serving revenge.
A mischievous raccoon with a bottomless appetite.
A battered soul who’s been wronged by the council.
Gone are the days of stealing snacks. Chloe’s crew is aiming for the ultimate prize: the Koin Vault. Their plan? To rob the Treasury and bring down the corrupt council. But in a game where the stakes are jail or death, every move could be their last.
DNFed at 5%A striking cover and the blurb read like fun. Even made me think it might be a bit Heinleinesque, and I do love some Heinleinian YA SF, when done right. But it's very hard to do right.
"Chloe's Kingdom" was not bad, but it was very juvenile. Chloe is running a gang of juvenile delinquents in her city-ship's ghetto, stealing candy bars from the space bodega. She has a raccoon sidekick.
So, this was cute, but the stakes were low. Presumably they will get higher, but I felt like it was the adventures of some generic spunky thieving girl with her cute animal companion, and not the beginning of a space adventure.
The Geomancer's Apprentice: A Monster Slaying Urban Fantasy Adventure, by Yin Leong

Who knew feng shui would be this dangerous?
Junie Soong reaches a new low in her life when she’s fired from Starbucks. Her brother is brilliant, her parents are stars in their professions while she … trails behind in everything. Things start looking up when she lands a new job as apprentice to Joe Tham, a struggling geomancer and feng shui master based in Washington, D.C.
Junie finds out monsters are real while she and Joe investigate an eerie sinkhole in their client’s cellar. She also discovers she may be the last of a line of warriors who can channel qi, the essential life force underpinning the universe.
She now must race against time to learn how to wield her powers while fending off shape-shifting, malevolent creatures from the depths of Diyu, the Chinese version of Hell. Not only that, she and Joe must deal with the ghosts that are suddenly manifesting in the cellar.
The Geomancer's Apprentice is the first book in an urban fantasy series featuring Asian mysticism and magic, and terrifying monsters from Asian folklore.
DNFed at 10%This was pushed to me on Facebook, and though urban fantasy is not really my thing, I sometimes will try them out if they have a new angle. The Washington, DC setting was interesting to me because I know a lot of those places.
Unfortunately, this read like a chick lit novel with some ghost stories. Junie is an underemployed underachiever who's a disappointment to her overachieving mother (oh boy, mother-daughter conflict, such compelling drama...), who gets her a job through distant family relations. So she goes on a little housecall with the last in a long line of geomancers.
So I wanted to see some monsters. Some action. I even gave this book an extra chapter to get there. There's just a spooky sinkhole in a basement, and scary red eyes in the darkness. Too slow, too much internal angst from a bland protagonist, no actual magic or monsters yet. Sorry, if I am committed to reading a book through, I'll give it time to build up the plot, but if I am doing a Kindle Unlimited skim, you better show me shape-shifting malevolent creatures from the depths of
Diyu before I get bored.
Lightblade: A Progression Fantasy Epic, by Zamil Akhtar

One day, Jyosh will climb the heavens and slay a dragon god.
Though nothing could seem less likely for a slave, especially one whose body is too broken to cycle sunshine into destructive magical energy. Until he meets a woman who can secretly teach him the lightblade, an energy sword transmuted from sunlight, capable of changing size, shape, and performing incredible magical feats according to the wielder’s skill level.
Except she only exists in his dreams. Each hour of sleep equals a day in these shared lucid dreams, wherein he must master new lightblade abilities, bond with his teacher and other allies, and gain the fortitude to overcome his weakness and crush his enemies.
When Jyosh awakens to learn that a mysterious lightblade master, who also commands an armada of sky ships, is spreading destruction across the land, he’ll face a trial by fire against forces far more frightening than he could ever dream.
And forged from that fire, a Light Ascendent will rise.
Cradle meets The Matrix in this progression sci-fantasy featuring light-based magic, dream training, and dragon gods.
DNFed at 5%I didn't love
Cradle. So advertising a book as "Cradle meets..." is not actually a strong selling point for me, but I was on a Wuxia kick and this had a cool-looking cover and blurb.
Lightblade features a protagonist named Jyosh who's interned in some sort of political prison camp. The evil emperor killed his family and cut off his sister's head in front of him. Through some shenanigans, he has obtained a dream stone that will let him enter a virtual world where time passes more slowly, and acquired some kind of AI training master who can teach him how to create "light blades." There is some build-up of the setting and progression system -- green light is what most people have access to, but the protagonist needs to generate red light to create his lightblade. The AI is actually a copy of, well, basically a Replika the protagonist was previously using as a romantic companion. ("I don't have genitalia" was one of the funniest lines in the first few chapters.)
Problem was, the whole first couple of chapters were an extended training sequence with a little bit of worldbuilding. The dialog and personal interactions were fine, and I know that training sequences are a pretty significant part of most progression fantasies, but I don't dig them that much. This might be a good book for someone who loves progression fantasies, it didn't hook me.
Beware of Chicken: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel, by Casualfarmer

A laugh-out-loud, slice-of-life martial-arts fantasy about . . . farming????
Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body.
Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here.
Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster. I’m not used to seeing a chicken move with such grace . . . but Qi makes everything kind of wonky, so it’s probably fine.
Instead of a lifetime of battle, my biggest concerns are building a house, the size of my harvest, and the way the girl from the nearby village glares at me when I tease her.
A slow, simple, fulfilling life in a place where nothing exciting or out of the ordinary ever happens . . . right?
DNFed at 8%Okay, once I realized what the gimmick is, I found this amusing but not amusing enough. The protagonist is a guy from our world who somehow (and without explanation) ends up inhabiting the body of a junior Taoist adapt in a fantasy Xanxia world. The protagonist is genre-savy, making this a bit of a satire of Xanxia novels, but I found his internal monologue too casual and annoying.
In the second chapter, we are introduced to the real(?) protagonist... a chicken.
Yes, his rooster apparently becomes self-aware and channels the power of the Tao to become a Xanxia warrior.
This was cute, but the writing style didn't appeal to me and really, I think I'd have to be much more into Xanxia novels to appreciate what looks like a big send-up of Xanxia tropes.
The Life of Rutherford Hayes, by David Fisher

Complete review
here.
Daughter of No Worlds, by Carissa Broadbent

A former slave fighting for justice. A reclusive warrior who no longer believes it exists. And a dark magic that will entangle their fates.
Ripped from a forgotten homeland as a child, Tisaanah learned how to survive with nothing but a sharp wit and a touch of magic. But the night she tries to buy her freedom, she barely escapes with her life.
Desperate to save the best friend she left behind, Tisaanah journeys to the Orders, the most powerful organizations of magic Wielders in the world. But to join their ranks, she must complete an apprenticeship with Maxantarius Farlione, a handsome and reclusive fire wielder who despises the Orders.
The Orders’ intentions are cryptic, and Tisaanah must prove herself under the threat of looming war. But even more dangerous are her growing feelings for Maxantarius. The bloody past he wants to forget may be the key to her future… or the downfall of them both.
But Tisaanah will stop at nothing to save those she abandoned. Even if it means gambling in the Orders’ deadly games. Even if it means sacrificing her heart.
Even if it means wielding death itself.
Fans of epic romantic fantasy like Sarah J. Maas and Raven Kennedy will devour this tale of dark magic, passionate romance, vengeance, and redemption.
DNFed at 7%Pretty cover, interesting blurb, but it turns out it's a #BookTok-friendly "romantasy." Ugh. I didn't get as far as the romance, but the first few chapters were a very generic setup: Tisaanah was taken as a child from a conquered homeland, and is a slave girl who is very, very hot but is trying to earn her freedom with lap dances. Okay, not really, she's sort of an entertainer but supposedly not actually whoring? Except it turns out she might have made some extra coin on the side whoring and that's what really pisses off her owner. So when she tries to buy her freedom, he whips her almost to death.
The writing was okay but what annoyed me about this book is what I call the "traipsing through the tulips" protagonist, by which I mean a protagonist who does not see the blindingly obvious flaw in her plans because it is blindingly obvious that the bad guy is going to screw her over. What, you're shocked, shocked, that your master's promise to free you if you earned enough money turned out to be empty? A slave with zero leverage is shocked that she has no leverage and no recourse. Shocking. DNFed at that point.
Didn't really care about the world or whatever glorious path of vengeance and hot steamy romance she is supposed to embark upon.
Unnatural Laws (The Whispering Crystals: Book 1), H.C. Mills

Ever wished a portal would open up and swallow you? Don’t. Trust me.
Slinging hotdogs may not be the most glorious side gig, but hey, if it paid for college, that’s all Emma could ask for. And let’s be real, of all the crowds in the world, what were the odds that Comic-Con would get Portalled next?
Emma really should’ve known better. Once again, the universe conspires against her, and now she’s stuck in a world where the laws of physics don’t seem to apply, and even the grass is trying to kill her. She better pay close heed to the Artificial Intelligence guiding her and make some new friends fast, because out here, it’s thrive or die.
And no amount of videogames prepared her for a world where you can actually gain Skills and level up. Or to face a series of trials that seem designed to kill her rather than teach her how to survive... What could possibly be the real goal of the mysterious ‘predecessors’ that built them?
Start reading the completed six-book series today, and get portalled into a whole new dimension!
DNFed at 21%Interdimensional rifts have been opening up around the world, at random gatherings of large numbers of people. No one knows why or where they came from, but thousands of people at a time disappear. This has just been... happening for months now.
Sounds like a great time to go to Comic-Con, right?
Yes, it's another litrpg. And this one came close to holding my attention. I kind of liked the protagonist - an underemployed Zoomer who's working at a hot dog stand at Comic-Con. I did not like the "protagonist examining her hot sexy body in the mirror" start, nor the emphasis on how hard it was to button her top because of her big boobs (it turns out the reason is her boss deliberately makes her wear too-tight tops to attract customers; sexual harassment suit, what's that?), but I kept going because I wanted to see where it goes. And the voice was somehow engaging enough to make me interested.
Naturally, a rift appears, and everyone at Comic-Con gets sucked into it. And Emma wakes up alone and proceeds to have the new rules of the world she is in explained to her by an AI named Suri. There are hints of a metaplot which reminded me of
Dungeon Crawler Carl (it appears aliens or extradimensional beings or something are grabbing Earthlings to throw them into lethal LARP scenarios for some yet-unexplained reason), but for the first part of the book, it's just Emma trying to figure out how to level up and survive, and checking her character sheet. And this where I started to lose interest, because the author spends a lot of time explaining these complicated alternate rules of physics (see, they are breathing air but it's not really air and they aren't really breathing) and how the protagonist has to manipulate "lavi" and build up her "toxic energy resistance," and so we get several chapters of basically breathing exercises and physical training while constantly checking lavi and toxic energy points. So far no other characters have appeared, and there's hardly any fighting. This book reminded me of a GM who really, really loves the complex homebrew system he's created for his RPG campaign and wants his players to get really into exploring and refining their character builds, when the players are less interested in the mechanics than in the adventure. And that was me, waiting for a story to happen. I finally gave up.
Ramen Obsession: The Ultimate Bible for Mastering Japanese Ramen, by Naomi Imatome-Yun and Robin Donovan

Learn the art of making ramen from the comfort of your kitchen
Nothing quite compares to the simple pleasure of slurping up a piping hot bowl of delicious ramen. This cookbook provides you with the traditions, tools, and tips you need to start making flavorful and filling ramen right at home.
What sets this ramen cookbook apart:
- The history of the bowl—Discover the origins of ramen, regional variations, modern-day interpretations, and more.
- Learn the 6 steps—Build an unparalleled bowl by learning how to make each critical component: broth, tare (seasoning sauce), aromatic oils and fats, noodles, toppings, and a perfectly combined bowl.
- 130 recipes to savor—You'll learn to create a variety of ramen recipes that range from easy to challenging, such as Spicy Miso Tonkotsu Ramen with Ginger Pork, and Shoyu Ramen with Littleneck Clams, Scallions, and Butter.
Master creating savory bowls of ramen from scratch with this comprehensive Japanese cookbook.
Ramen, yum! Being able to download cookbooks to a tablet is a convenient benefit of KU, and this one has definitely leveled up my ramen. If you've just been throwing noodles and flavor packets into boiling water, you can do so much better with a small amount of effort. Still haven't quite worked up to that perfect tonkatsu bowl, but I've made some very acceptable miso veggie, Thai peanut, and ajitsuke tamago ramen.
My complete list of book reviews.